Psychobabble
by misfire
Summary: Slightly AU. Spike and Faye interlude. It never crossed his mind that he would be the one to break her fragile heart.


Sleep.  
Or lack thereof.  
Causes people to think and do strange things. Even seeing ghosts.

Though it is at the very end of the hallway, light decided to creep into her previously dark bedroom. Although faint, it cast an annoying glow onto her eyelids. Wincing lightly Faye Valentine chanced a peek at the intruder, and groaned. She was not exactly sleeping when the light came and bothered her, she was merely lying in her bed trying to count sheep, but still the intruder was an unwelcome one.

Irritated, she sat up to see exactly why her room was being bathed in a faint glow from the hallway. Of course, leaving her door open a crack before she went to sleep was the culprit, for the door was opened at a wide angle.  
She always kept her door open a crack when he was out late. Faye is not a light sleeper by any means, and he is only quiet when it suits his needs. Especially when trying to scare the shit out of her. She had become accustomed to his pranks, hell she welcomed them. Proved to her how close their friendship had grown.

The open door is her way of keeping an eye on him. At least that is how she justifies it. Since meeting Spike 2 years ago he wormed his charming and cocky way into her heart. Her equal in male form, although they clashed on various topics, they were very much alike. In the span of a few short months, both she and Spike became incredibly close. A broken man and a lost woman found something in each other.  
He was still chasing ghosts. Faye knew this, and helped him in his quest as best as she could. It is not easy to find someone that does not wish to be found.

A blonde goddess, with eyes the color of sapphire. A wraith. That woman will be the death of him.

Faye sighed quietly and pulled herself into a sitting position. Black hair pooling beneath her shoulders, she got out of bed. To block the cold she pulled on a hooded sweatshirt she had sitting on the small rocking chair in the corner. As she moved her hair from beneath the heavy cotton she began her trek to the living room.

She knew that competition with the blonde goddess was futile. Faye was not naïve in anyway. And of course at times she found herself to be jealous of …Julia. However, she decided that she had something over the blonde woman. Spike became her family.  
Sure, Julia had his heart. But where **_was_** she? If she loved him so much, why **_did_** she leave him?  
Yes, as hard as it was to even admit to herself. Faye fell in love with Spike.  
Not only in a protective way. In the head over heals type of way, only found in cliché movies and storybooks.  
Faye crossed the forbidden line.  
She denied it, saying that her love for him is only in a friendly way. At least that is what she tells herself.

Tiptoeing out into the carpeted hallway she passed by his bedroom. The door shut as always. A closed book, that man. Sure he opened himself up to her, chapter by chapter. A book with no ending, and still being revised day by day.

As she walked past the bathroom and the kitchen she found herself in the living room. Glancing about her green iris's noted that the television was still on. Some old black and white film was playing, but the sound on mute. The white suede sofa housed the culprit of her lack of sleep.  
A mop of fuzzy green hair peaked over the pillow and armrest. She could hear him lightly snoring.  
He only snored when he was deeply asleep. Or faking it.

Walking closer she found that he had fallen asleep with a book. The old bent pages splayed carelessly across his lap. She hadn't known him to be much of a reader. And like the cat, curiosity ate at her fingertips.

Picking the worn paperback up Faye noticed that it was an old mystery novel. As she flipped the book over to read the backside a strand of her inky hair fell out of place and in the way. With her hand she managed to finger her hair back behind one ear, as she went on to read the passage of the book that he had been reading.  
A novel about a man trying to learn if he is truly alive in a world full of chaos and destruction, a man trying to find the murderer of his beloved.

_'Interesting, I may have to borrow this when he's finished.'_ Faye thought quietly as she looked at the chapter he had fallen asleep on. Granted she would need to read from the beginning to catch up, but she figured a little snippet couldn't hurt.

Unbeknownst to her, dark chocolate eyes watched her every move. The way the light caught her eyes and made them sparkle. Spike sat there and quietly admired her countenance. He had to suppress a chuckle at seeing her lips move while she read, and her other hand fussing with the unruly strand of hair that did not enjoy being held back. If it was another time, he probably could fall in love with her.  
However, fate decided to intervene, and going against Spike's wishes a small grunt fell from his lips. Closing his eyes quickly he shifted his position and continued to feign sleep, all the while hoping she wouldn't catch on.

Hearing the noise Faye nearly jumped out of her skin before turning her eyes onto the lump before her. A dark eyebrow rose as she studied him. Putting her index finger into the book to keep its' place, she turned her attention back onto Spike.

"Spike?"

No answer came from him. In fact his snoring seemed to get louder.  
This did not go unnoticed however as she had a clear-cut idea that he was faking it. A mischievous grin lifted the corner of her mouth as she leaned her face close to his.

Speaking more softly, she brought a finger up to the side of his abdomen. "I know you're awake." And with that she poked him.

His eyes sprung open. Wide chocolate meeting with narrowed emerald, before he realized he had indeed been caught in the act. He still tried to play it off as innocently as possible. Spike knew it was a long shot, innocent and he did not exactly see eye to eye, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Faye knew he was ticklish on his side, and she would be relentless.

"Faye? What time is it?" he asked while trying to blink sleep from his eyes. Voice husky from not speaking as his breath brushed her cheek. Standing back up, Faye had to calm her heartbeat. "One something? I'm not quite sure exactly." She lifted up his book.

"I didn't know you knew how to read. I've never seen you do it before." She had to calm her nerves and get herself back into a nonchalant attitude. He smirked at her before replying. "Yeah, It keeps my attention for when I'm stuck in the bathroom do to your cooking."

Faye's eyes narrowed. He did –**not- **just insult her cooking. Spike laughed, and raised his hands in defeat. "I'm joking, you know I love your cooking." The least he needed to do was to piss her off to the point he had to cook his own food.  
That would be disastrous. Not to mention she'd never let him hear the end of his various trips to poison control.

Granted he took great pleasure in annoying the hell out of her. He could get under her skin so easily. Noticing that she was still looking at him he cocked his head and spoke again. "So what's up?."

"I can't sleep." She shrugged. "So I came to see what you were doing, since the light was on."

"Well as you could see, I was sleeping. Quite soundly in fact, before I was rudely awakened with a poke." Spike frowned as he said this. He tried to play the guilt card. Faye, on the other hand, had a different idea. She started laughing at his use of puppy dog eyes.

"What? What the hell is so funny about you waking me up?" His glare narrowed. If looks could kill, Faye would be a sitting duck had she bothered to notice through her snickering.  
"Oh shut up, you were faking it…. Scoot over so I can sit down." She smiled lightly. Her smile quickly grew into a pensive look as spike just shifted further into the back of the couch. Sure in his way, he considered it a move to give her room. Well if he was going to give her the edge, she was damned if she was not going to take it. _'Just breathe Faye. It's just lying on the couch with your best friend…. No big deal. Right?'_

Sighing loudly, Faye cuddled next to Spike and laid her head on his upper chest. With such a close proximity she was sure he could hear her wild heart beat.

His deep voice startled her from her reverie. "So read any good books lately?" 'Jesus, if only he knew what he does to me' "Umm, no. Your book looks interesting though. I think I may have to borrow it from you when you are finished." Adding as a second thought, in order to curb the awkwardness she was feeling about the situation. "If you complete it, that is." At those words his lips curved into a smile. Faye found herself lost in his smile and even more lost when her gaze caught his. _'Oh dear'_  
She didn't think she had ever seen eyes as beautiful as his.  
Shaking herself out of his trance she broke eye contact. As his husky voice spoke again, "So tell me, how did your day go_?" 'Don't look at his eyes. Don't do it… Faye!'_ Her plea was completely lost as she looked into the dark depths and spoke her answer.

"Well, it was long. Professor Black decided to have me run extra tests on the effects of cryogenics on lab rats. I feel bad for those rodents." She continued on about her rant as Spike found himself lost in those emerald eyes she had.

The woman before him was so full of life. Smart, intelligent and beautiful. _'I wish she could see what I see.'_ He developed small feelings for her in the last year since they moved in with each other.  
Spike wished wholeheartedly that he could find someone that would be perfect for her. He was terribly protective of Faye. She deserved to be treated right. And in his quest for Julia, he would find the one for Faye.  
It never crossed his mind that he would be the one to break her fragile heart.

Her voiced continued to drown out, while he nodded at various intervals to show he was still paying attention, even if his mind was elsewhere. The long black hair framing her face and the sparkling green eyes that held so much slowly shifted into dark blue and sunlight blonde.

A different face was in front of him. One that he dreamt about nearly every night, his eyes widened a fraction in surprise as his hand involuntarily stroked a soft pale cheek.

As though she had been drenched in ice water. Faye stopped talking. Her breath hitched into her throat, as his rough hand caressed her skin gently.

_'This isn't right. He isn't the type to do this.'_ Faye's mind raced with scattered thoughts. She wanted to move, but her body was unwilling to heed her plea. Spike continued to caress the cheek of the dark haired beauty, all the while thinking that she is his angel. _'Oh Julia, I've missed you'_ Spike's dark eyes softened and Faye found herself once again in a trance.  
_'Damnit Faye.'_  
Every emotion was on display in his eyes. She realized that his eyes had small gold and auburn flecks in them. They seemed to develop an unearthly glow in the lamplight.

"Spike?" Her voice cracked, she hated how he made her feel this way. Her question went unheard as he continued to stroke her hair, her face, and her lips. Before she knew it he had her mouth captured in his.

Her body literally melted in the sweetest kiss she had ever experienced. It was like having the sweet taste of hot fudge coursing through her veins. Her eyes closed as her mind reeled. _'It isn't me he is kissing. I am not Julia.'_  
Sweet turned into bittersweet, as it became a kiss that magnified everything Faye wished for, but could not have.

She knew that once Spike realized he was kissing the wrong person it would be over. Not just the kiss, but also his attitude. He had become so carefree lately, and even though she was damned if he would go back to his overly brooding ways she took a deep breath. Faye returned the kiss as passionately as she could. She was not Julia, nor could she ever be the enigma –the **_perfection_**- that is Julia.

Her eyes opened as Spike mumbled quietly on her lips the name, that even though she tried so hard to protect herself from, which would shatter her heart. "Julia."

Spike would never see the tear that rolled down Faye's flushed cheek, for when the weight on his body lifted. He was the only one in the room.

"Oh shit." Blinking at his surroundings, Spike realized where he was and what had happened before his vision of a kiss. He remembered speaking to Faye, before Julia took away his attention.  
_'It had to have been a dream.'_ Staring at the clock on the wall, he noted that it was 2:35 a.m. _'Faye wouldn't dream of being awake at this hour.'_

Even though his brain came up with a logical explanation that it was nothing more than a dream, Spike couldn't shake the feeling that something very important transpired between himself and his Faye.

Shaking the soreness from his muscles he stood up and voiced his thoughts out loud. "Why the hell was that dream so vivid? It was so real this time." Shrugging he shut off the television and the reading lamp before retiring into his bedroom.

Opening his bedroom door, Spike flipped on the large ceiling light, and chanced a glance across the hall into Faye's bedroom.  
At night he always snuck a glance at Faye, just to make sure she was still there. Call it an irrational fear, but he had a pretty bad track record of women he cared about leaving him. The lump under the covers of her bed was bathed in the light that his bedroom cast.

Curled up into a ball with her body hidden. She was far from asleep. Her mind completely lost and chiding her about the stupid stunt she recently pulled.

Spike cracked a smile as he noted her open door. She always left it open. Said it was for the air circulation, but he knew it was to hear when he came home from late nights.

"Good night, Faye." Spike spoke softly, more to himself than her as he closed her door and retired himself into his bedroom. Engulfing the hallway back into darkness.

"Good night, Spike." Wiping her eyes, Faye curled in against herself. "Sweet dreams."

_End. _

( Author's Note:  
This is my very first, and probably only attempt at any type of fanfic writing. I'm not a writer at all, nor did i have a beta reader. So really any help that/criticism that you are willing to share, please feel free.

This thought was stuck in my head after a random dream. I tried to bring it to life on paper. So enjoy. :)

oh and disclaimer... none of the cowboy bebop characters belong to me. in any way shape or form.).


End file.
